Forever
by KaibaGirl167
Summary: Mathias wonders if Nikolas really wants to be with him at all.


They'd been dating for two years. Mathias knew that he was in love and didn't want to spend his life with anyone else. But he was so sure about Nikolas. HE was glad Nikolas was still with him but...he couldn't help but feel as though Nikolas didn't really want to be with him. It was just something in the way Nikolas always left him with a small empty smile and the way Mathias was always reaching out for Nikolas' hand and never the other way around. Mathias knew Nikolas wouldn't cheat on him. He was an honest man; you could see it in his eyes.

Nikolas was there for him. When Mathias had lost his job, Nikolas had been there, telling him that his boss was an idiot for firing him, and that he could always find a job at a better place anyway. Nikolas was always saying he cared, but Mathias just couldn't feel it. He felt like Nikolas was just saying those things, as if he was in some distant, unfeeling place. It's not like Mathias expected the earth to move the way he felt his heart wrench, but damn it, couldn't Nikolas at least try?

Mathias was startled from his thoughts by a hand waving in front of his face.

"Mathias. Mathias, you in there?"

"Hmm? Oh, sorry, I was just thinking about stuff. Work, y'know? I've got an interview this week, applied at a few more places." Mathias gave an apologetic smile.

"You never look so grave when you worry about work," Nikolas stated. "Is that really what's on your mind?"

Mathias looked around their tiny living room. Just a couch, a TV, and a floor lamp he found at a yard sale a few weeks ago. Most of their stuff came from yard sales. Mathias was currently unemployed but trying his dammed best to find a good job. Nikolas was working at some 9 to 5 cubicle job, and going broke trying to pay off his student loans. They weren't the best off financially, but it was the fact that they loved each other that mattered. They did both love each other, right?

Mathias took a big breath and looked over at Nikolas.

"You caught me. I was thinking about us and…Nikolas, do you even want to be here? In a shitty apartment with a guy who's unemployed and can't even make you happy?"

Nikolas' eyes widened slightly. "Who told you that? Who thinks they're the judge of what makes me happy?"

Mathias cast his eyes down, towards the dirty carpet. He should really vacuum it sometime.

"You never…you never look like you're happy. I'm always doing stupid shit and how could someone like that ever make a person like you happy?"

He sank back into the couch cushions, certain that Nikolas would confirm his beliefs, say that he was tired of being with someone like him and then stop out of the apartment and out of his life. Nikolas didn't say anything for a long time. Even though the volume on the television was almost up to the maximum, the room felt like it was too quiet. The people on the show told a joke and paused in their acting for the laugh track to sound. Mathias didn't laugh. Suddenly it was too loud and he was about to jump up and turn it off when Nikolas finally spoke.

"You're an idiot. You're stupid and you're unemployed and sometimes you drink a lot and that pisses me off. But you're my idiot. I care about you, I love you, and I'd rather love you in a shitty apartment than be with someone else in a mansion. You aren't going to be unemployed forever. You might get that job that's interviewing you this week. We're going to move out of here someday, but when we do, it's going to be both of us moving to a new place together. Not one of us leaving the other. We're in this together now, got it?" Nikolas spoke with such sincerity and fire that Mathias knew he believed in what he had said.

"You…you don't feel trapped here? You really wanna be with me, even though I'm a douche and I hurt you sometimes?" Mathias said in almost child-like way, asking the question in such a hopeful voice almost made Nikolas' heart break. One day, he'd make sure that Mathias knew he'd never give him up.

"Yes, Mathias, I want to be here. I'm here by choice, because you're here. I'm not going to leave you Mathias, even though you hurt me sometimes."

Mathias didn't hesitate to pull Nikolas in a bone-crushing hug.

"Thank you! Thank you I love you I don't know what I'd do without you Nikolas." Mathias blubbered into Nikolas' shoulder. Nikolas tentatively put his arms around Mathias and patted his back

"I love you too Mathias. I'm sorry I've made you feel this way." Nikolas murmured.

"S'okay," Mathias replied, "As long as you love me."

"Forever, then."

Nikolas drifted off to sleep in Mathias' arms a few hours later, and Mathias carried him off to bed. Mathias crawled into bed and pulled Nikolas to his chest.

"Forever, huh? I'm holding you to that, Nick."

Nikolas let out a little sigh of contentment in his sleep. Mathias chuckled and let himself fall asleep, knowing he was holding someone who wished to be with him forever. It was a nice feeling he decided. One he'd hope to feel forever.


End file.
